Sunday, May 29, 2005

Distance Is a Curious Thing

Have you ever considered the reasons behind someone distancing themselves from you? I know that I might be in a uniquely constructed situation, but it is thought-provoking nonetheless. I hope you didnt think that by distance I meant in proxemics; that would be entirely too simple. I meant distance as in the conscious act of pulling away. I've recently experienced various forms of this phenomena through interaction (or lack thereof) with "friends." Why the quotations, you ask? Because it seems that the foundation upon which friendship was erected has been tested by mere rain clouds. Gone is the sun, present is the breeze and with it the distinct smell of precipitation in the air. With the departure of the "fair" weather, it seems that a few silhouettes were making a hasty departure, -a break, if you will, for cover.

Am I upset? No. Confused? I wholeheartedly wish that I was. Complete with irony that I couldn't hope for, this is one of the few times that I would appreciate being ignorant of what has happened around me. The problem is, I understand. But beyond that, there's a curious thing about the distance placed between myself and a couple of my "friends": Neither side needs an apology for it. It is what it is. It's the gray area that so many of us seek to avoid, because to be there is to be in the unknown. Except this situation isn't about the unknown; it's about the unsure.

To associate with somebody under the pretense of friendship while your main interest lies in being romantically involved with that person is to commit a unique form of fraud. Especially when you retract your friendship when their intentions lie on someone else. We've all done it (in like Junior High!); It is a fact that you can grow older and not really grow wiser. I, however, have opted to attain some sort of maturity. I only wish that I had company on this road that I'm traveling. I digress...

You leave the market and they leave footprints on their way out of your life. To deal with dis-appointment, some people feel the need to dis-appear, to distance themselves from you. Can I blame them, though? No. To each his or her own. I just pray for patience and understanding beyond my minute supply...I still have a ways to g[r]o[w], after all.

No comments: