So I was in an email discussion that was posed to men about why it seemed like [we] play so many games when it comes to relationships. My answer was that a man may play in a particular instance but not with every women he becomes romantically linked to. I was then asked to clarify what I meant. Below is my response.
"I don't mean games as in intentionally leading someone on for the sake of whatever; I mean in simply not being on the same page, caring less than the girl might depending on the situation. A lot of it I would attribute to the need for control of the situation. Emotions are one of the few things that you cannot control. When a guy who likes control starts to lose his emotions to a woman who has worked her womanly wiles on him, he might pull back a little bit. A lot of guys self-sabotage relationships unintentionally because of this. They dont mean to do so, but they try to wean themselves a little bit in order to avoid a dependency that they fear might arise in the future. What might come across as playing games might really be the fluctuation between emotive actions and actions based on thought. Its like a pendulum, becoming hard to read. Until, of course, control is wrested from you willingly when you decided to include trust into the equation. Trust on both ends, mind you: trust that she wont hurt you and that she has your best intentions at hand and trust that you yourself (the guy) can be faithful in both regards- in the reciprocation of feelings as well as in practicing fidelity."
It is my belief that the failure to be forthcoming stems from the innate human need to protect oneself. In all walks of life one can find instances where they are not completely honest with another individual, or with themselves for that matter. A lot of people may don the "I dont care" attitude when deep inside they know that they do. The surrender of your heart is a choice that you don't always make for yourself, which can be extremely frustrating. In order to balance that a lot of thought is introduced into the batter of feelings. Stir in trust and doubt, fear and fearlessness. In the end you get a product that is balanced, necessary even. Now if only I could convince the rest of the world to strive for this balance then maybe there wouldn't be so many games to play, nor as many participants...
"I don't mean games as in intentionally leading someone on for the sake of whatever; I mean in simply not being on the same page, caring less than the girl might depending on the situation. A lot of it I would attribute to the need for control of the situation. Emotions are one of the few things that you cannot control. When a guy who likes control starts to lose his emotions to a woman who has worked her womanly wiles on him, he might pull back a little bit. A lot of guys self-sabotage relationships unintentionally because of this. They dont mean to do so, but they try to wean themselves a little bit in order to avoid a dependency that they fear might arise in the future. What might come across as playing games might really be the fluctuation between emotive actions and actions based on thought. Its like a pendulum, becoming hard to read. Until, of course, control is wrested from you willingly when you decided to include trust into the equation. Trust on both ends, mind you: trust that she wont hurt you and that she has your best intentions at hand and trust that you yourself (the guy) can be faithful in both regards- in the reciprocation of feelings as well as in practicing fidelity."
It is my belief that the failure to be forthcoming stems from the innate human need to protect oneself. In all walks of life one can find instances where they are not completely honest with another individual, or with themselves for that matter. A lot of people may don the "I dont care" attitude when deep inside they know that they do. The surrender of your heart is a choice that you don't always make for yourself, which can be extremely frustrating. In order to balance that a lot of thought is introduced into the batter of feelings. Stir in trust and doubt, fear and fearlessness. In the end you get a product that is balanced, necessary even. Now if only I could convince the rest of the world to strive for this balance then maybe there wouldn't be so many games to play, nor as many participants...
No comments:
Post a Comment