If, for a moment in time I were able to reflect on the mistakes that I have made and possibly change them, I can honestly say that I would be infinitely torn between accepting them as "lessons learned" or classifying them as "pain to be avoided";for I have been a guilty bystander in the ongoing feud between my mind and my heart. I have been traitorous to both sides, using convenience of outcome as the determiner of choice. Sometimes I think and sometimes I feel. More confusing even, sometimes I think I feel. Confused? Do be.
I have noticed that oftentimes when my heart gets into the realm of adoration, my mind seeks to pump its perpetual brakes in order to get some semblance of reality. This is often brought up when going "past the point of no return" is entertained and the possibility of turning into salt happens when I look forward.
Have you ever been in a situation where things seem TOO perfect? Some people thrive off of drama, I am convinced. Some people need ripples in the lake, we all should, for motion is the only indicator of progression (or regression depending on your position in the wind). I am convinced that perfection is an ideal that we have no idea about. I digress.
I honestly don't want to proceed in a direction that seems to have an inevitable road block at the end of the road; I want a winding path that had no end in sight. If I saw that, then I would throw my worries to the wind and whatever come what may!!! (-sigh-, I wish it were that easy; I’m just too analytical)
But that, along with the light reservations that I have about MY ability to love the way that I dream about; with a messy, inconvenient, imperfect quality that thrives under pressure because there’s the promise of a diamond, or that wilts and succumbs to the heat only because that’s the only way that gold can be purified. What is it worth and what does it measure up to? I don’t have an exact figure, but time will tell.
I want to be able to look into the horizon and know that the day that I can grasp it in my palms is the day that will signify the end of my relationship. The wonderful thing about that is, simply put, you can’t ever grasp the horizon, it’s physically impossible.
That's the beauty in the tease of a mirage...you can see it and convince yourself that you can feel it, but it can't be touched. Maybe my methods are flawed...maybe instead of reaching out I should've reached IN. Naa...that would be too much like right.
I have noticed that oftentimes when my heart gets into the realm of adoration, my mind seeks to pump its perpetual brakes in order to get some semblance of reality. This is often brought up when going "past the point of no return" is entertained and the possibility of turning into salt happens when I look forward.
Have you ever been in a situation where things seem TOO perfect? Some people thrive off of drama, I am convinced. Some people need ripples in the lake, we all should, for motion is the only indicator of progression (or regression depending on your position in the wind). I am convinced that perfection is an ideal that we have no idea about. I digress.
I honestly don't want to proceed in a direction that seems to have an inevitable road block at the end of the road; I want a winding path that had no end in sight. If I saw that, then I would throw my worries to the wind and whatever come what may!!! (-sigh-, I wish it were that easy; I’m just too analytical)
But that, along with the light reservations that I have about MY ability to love the way that I dream about; with a messy, inconvenient, imperfect quality that thrives under pressure because there’s the promise of a diamond, or that wilts and succumbs to the heat only because that’s the only way that gold can be purified. What is it worth and what does it measure up to? I don’t have an exact figure, but time will tell.
I want to be able to look into the horizon and know that the day that I can grasp it in my palms is the day that will signify the end of my relationship. The wonderful thing about that is, simply put, you can’t ever grasp the horizon, it’s physically impossible.
That's the beauty in the tease of a mirage...you can see it and convince yourself that you can feel it, but it can't be touched. Maybe my methods are flawed...maybe instead of reaching out I should've reached IN. Naa...that would be too much like right.
1 comment:
I think your too good just to be blogging...although it's greatly appreciated...Why don't you write a book! I'll read it!
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